The Odyssey
The Odyssey
After winning a great war, a brave Greek hero begins his long journey home to his wife and son. But the gods have other plans, and his voyage becomes filled with dangerous adventures and magical creatures.
Hi!
Hi!
I am GPS Goddess.
I am GPS Goddess.
I help heroes find their way home.
I help heroes find their way home.
Today I want to tell you about my worst customer ever.
Today I want to tell you about my worst customer ever.
His name is Odysseus.
His name is Odysseus.
He wants to go home to his island after a big war.
He wants to go home to his island after a big war.
Easy job, right?
Easy job, right?
Wrong!
Wrong!
First, he goes to the wrong island.
First, he goes to the wrong island.
There are big monsters with one eye!
There are big monsters with one eye!
I keep saying
I keep saying
"Turn left!"
"Turn left!"
"Turn left!"
"Turn left!"
But does he listen?
But does he listen?
No!
No!
He fights the monster and makes it angry.
He fights the monster and makes it angry.
Then he sails to another wrong place.
Then he sails to another wrong place.
There are beautiful ladies singing pretty songs.
There are beautiful ladies singing pretty songs.
I tell him
I tell him
"Keep going straight!"
"Keep going straight!"
But he wants to listen to the music.
But he wants to listen to the music.
His boat almost crashes on the rocks!
His boat almost crashes on the rocks!
Next, he finds an island with a witch.
Next, he finds an island with a witch.
She turns his friends into pigs!
She turns his friends into pigs!
I am shouting
I am shouting
"Don't eat her food!"
"Don't eat her food!"
But they eat it anyway.
But they eat it anyway.
Now I have to help pigs find their way home too.
Now I have to help pigs find their way home too.
The worst part?
The worst part?
He goes to a place with two terrible monsters.
He goes to a place with two terrible monsters.
One has six heads.
One has six heads.
The other makes big whirlpools in the water.
The other makes big whirlpools in the water.
My GPS screen is going crazy!
My GPS screen is going crazy!
"Danger!"
"Danger!"
"Danger!"
"Danger!"
I say.
I say.
But he sails right between them!
But he sails right between them!
After ten long years, he finally listens to me.
After ten long years, he finally listens to me.
He goes home to his wife and son.
He goes home to his wife and son.
They are so happy to see him.
They are so happy to see him.
But guess what?
But guess what?
He never gave me five stars!
He never gave me five stars!
Some people are so rude.
Some people are so rude.
The end.
The end.